Marriage politics
I happened upon the Clintons’ June 1992 appearance on the Arsenio Hall show, and an exchange struck me:
Arsenio: Through all this controversy, have you ever found yourselves at home, fighting? Honestly?
Hillary: No.
Bill: Nuh uh.
Hillary: Not about anything important. We fight about what movie we want to see…
Arsenio: Because, you know… it’s hard to think that you never at some point said Who is Gennifer? I mean, who the hell is she? You know?
Hillary: I know who she is. I mean, I know who she is.
It struck me in light of this moment in Jodi Kantor’s piece on the Obama marriage for the Sunday Times magazine:
Two months later in the Oval Office, I asked the Obamas just how severe their strains had been. “This was sort of the eye-opener to me, that marriage is hard,” the first lady said with a little laugh. “But going into it, no one ever tells you that. They just tell you, ‘Do you love him?’ ‘What’s the dress look like?’ ”
I asked more directly about whether their union almost came to an end.
“That’s overreading it,” the president said. “But I wouldn’t gloss over the fact that that was a tough time for us.”
Did you ever seek counseling? I asked.
The first lady looked solemnly at the president. He said: “You know, I mean, I think that it was important for us to work this through… . There was no point where I was fearful for our marriage. There were points in time where I was fearful that Michelle just really didn’t — that she would be unhappy…”
“If my ups and downs, our ups and downs in our marriage can help young couples sort of realize that good marriages take work… .” Michelle Obama said a few minutes later in the interview. The image of a flawless relationship is “the last thing that we want to project,” she said. “It’s unfair to the institution of marriage, and it’s unfair for young people who are trying to build something, to project this perfection that doesn’t exist.”
Of course, that was candidate Clinton in the final run-up to November, but to see how readily Hillary answers the question in that clip, the difference is striking.
It reveals as much about divergent political sensibilities as it does about very different marriages. With the Obamas in mind, it’s hard not to look back to 1992 and see a missed opportunity. But if they had answered otherwise, it wouldn’t have been the Bill & Hillary we know, would it?
